Sunday, 16 October 2011

X-Factor Analysis And Predictions

Second Show: Love Songs

Last night's X-Factor started off with some good and bad news.  The good news was that the traditional X-Factor format was back - with the great British public having the say on who goes and who stays.  The bad news was that the theme of the night was, apparently, 'Love and Heartache', which is usually X-Factor code for wet, crappy ballads.  And the judges didn't disappoint in that regard, with the contestants singing everything from Whitney Houston to Coldplay - all was not bad though, so read on below for The Urbanite's X-Factor ratings and predictions:

1: Nu Vibe

First up were boyband Nu Vibe who, after an underwhelming performance last week, were under a lot of pressure to deliver.  To make matters worse, they were given U2's 'With or Without You' to open the show, which is as cliche and boring as it gets.  The performance overall was worse than I had predicted as, on quite a few occasions, their harmonies were way off.  The only thing the group has going for them  at this stage is their looks but, with rival boyband The Risk already looking strong, Nu Vibe may struggle.  Poor 5/10

2: Sammie

Whilst we are on the subject of cliche and boring, let's talk about Louis Walsh.  Giving him the power to choose a soppy love song is like giving your nan the permission to knit you a cardigan for Xmas every year - you'd think she'd mix it up a bit but she still gives you the same one each time. Every time Louis has a big lass in his team with a powerful voice, he gives her 'I Will Always Love You' by Whitney Houston and bores the shit out of us.  To be fair to Sammie, she still makes a good show of it and effortlessly hits the notes she has to hit.  Still no chance of winning, but I see her being safe for the week at least.  Average 6/10

3: Craig

Craig was one of the surprises of last week.  With a better voice than Frankie he deserves to go far in this competition, but it remains to be seen whether the public can see his talent.  He sings 'Best Thing I Never Had' by Beyonce and, again, sings really well.  His image seems to be improving as well, despite the gun fingers which make him look like a ridiculous ghetto diva.  Really good 8/10

4: Janet Devlin

Janet is one of the special contestants this year and one that The Urbanite can see the public really taking to.  With such a unique voice, she can sing anything and make it sound her own.  And she does so again this week with UB40's 'Can't Help Falling in Love'.  Janet will improve every week, however her only flaw is that she might need to mix things up a bit and move around the stage, which I do not see her doing at this moment. Still, good performance 8/10

5: Frankie Cocozza

Everyone's favourite cheeky chappy is given the only Coldplay song The Urbanite really likes and gives a solid show of it without really pushing the boat.  'The Scientist' is perfect for his voice but, with Frankie, it is hard to not get the impression that he is coasting through the competition without really blowing us away.  Despite the repetitiveness, Frankie will be safe for next week. 7/10

6: Johnnie

Of all the people that must have been pissed off that Goldie, the crazy chinese lady, had left the show, The Urbanite thinks Johnnie had the most to complain about.  As soon as Louis lost his 'crazy act of the year', he was on the lookout for another.  And Johnnie filled that slot.  After annoying the hell out of us last week with his rendition of Cher, this week the weirdo was singing Kylie dressed up as, and I am not making this up (Theresa May style), a bloody geisha.  Ridiculous.  He looked like such a twat I wasn't even listening to his song properly.  When I did manage to hear him sing, all I could hear was a cat screaming.  Another awful performance 2/10

7: Marcus

Marcus is one of The Urbanite's favourite acts.  He has got a bit of soul, a bit of rhythm and is one of the best vocalists in the show.  Singing Rihanna's 'Russian Roulette', he doesn't disappoint once again.  Great song choice for the guy, despite what Louis and Tulisa have to say about it.  More likeable than Darryl from X-Factor past, Marcus should go far 9/10

8: Rhythmix 

Rhythmix are quite fresh. Looking great as a group, they do seem like a girl group that can actually make it.  But due to the pure fact that girls do not vote for girls on reality shows, they cannot be that confident.  Singing Nelly Furtado's 'I'm Like a Bird' (when was that about love and heartache?!), the girls' harmonies are tight and spot on.  The song sounded totally different to the original and worked.  Bar Tulisa comparing the girls to the suffragettes for, and I quote, 'not being the type of girls to steal your boyfriend', that was a really enjoyable 3 minutes and the best performance of the night so far 9/10

9: Misha B

Reports came out this week that Misha was an arrogant diva who already thinks that she has won the show.  What this typically means is that the media have seen a great British star and are looking for faults to knock her down with already.  At the moment, Misha makes the show.  Singing the classic 'Would I Lie to You' Misha puts in another strong performance, albeit not as strong as last week.  Bettering herself every week may be a tough task for Misha, but she is still the strongest act in the competition.  Could have done with another rap, mind you 8/10

10: The Risk

The Risk are by far the better boyband in the competition.  Which is not hard considering the fact that Nu Vibe are hardly a boyband and are more a ragtag collection of pretty boys screaming into a microphone.  On the other hand, The Risk look like they have been together for years and, to The Urbanite, seem like they have a genuine chance of winning the show.  Singing 'Just the Way You Are', which is going to become a staple song for many X-Factor's to come, the boys are on top form and are vocally flawless.  They sat on bar stools, though, which deserves a minus point somewhere.  Expect a lot more from these lot 9/10

11: Sophie Habibis 

Sophie is the forgotten girl of the competition.  Which is a shame, because she has a great voice.  She may not be exciting, but her girl next door image may resonate with the public.  Giving her 'Wherever You Will Go', by The Calling, Kelly is doing a great job in marketing Sophie, who was note perfect. Only problem is whether the public will remember her enough to vote for her, which I am not too sure they will 7/10

12: Kitty

Throughout her VT, Kitty spoke about how she was so controversial.  I think she meant to say annoying.  Because annoying she is.  Any 30year old that models themselves on Lady Gaga is an idiot, but one has to be honest at times and admit that Kitty can sing.  Louis actually made a sensible song choice with a Bjork track, but Kitty has a lot to do to gain the public's affection.  There were even some boo's after her performance, which makes The Urbanite think the girl may struggle to make it past this week  7/10

So there we have it.  All 12 acts have performed.  And one has to go.  There will be a few acts who should be nervous after such a terrible showing, including Johnnie and Nu Vibe, and others who are borderline safe but not certain, like Sammie.

After being correct last week with our predictions, The Urbanite predicts that Kitty and Johnnie will be the bottom two, with Johnnie not surviving the chop and going home.  To a chorus of boos from the crowd.

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